The No Talking Rule
by Lady Flick
Summary: DISCONTINUED.
1. The First Attempt

**SO **this is just something light-hearted to keep me entertained. There isn't too much of a plot surrounding it, it's here for a few smiles and maybe a healthy dose or two of crack. The format is something I've done before, yes, but on a more serious note, and never past one chapter, so it's somewhat new. There will be actual narratives sprinkled throughout, and said narratives will get longer, but for now, this opening is more of a test run to see how well it might be received. I'm not even sure I'll continue this, it might be because it's nearing 1am over here and I just wanted to type it out for kicks, but we'll see. C: Chapters will get longer if I do decide to continue, and narratives will take on something familiar to actual drabbles rather than the too-short snippets in between messages.

**HOPE **it's enjoyed, at least. It's implying that Zero and Kallen both returned to Ashford even after the Black Rebellion and is set after Zero regains his memories. Yes, I know, Kallen never really returned to Ashford, but hey, this entire fic is rather senseless as it is xD

* * *

**The "No Talking" Rule**

* * *

_**THE FIRST ATTEMPT**_

* * *

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1300 08/21/2018**

You're being unreasonable.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1305 08/21/2018**

I'm being unreasonable? When you're the one who suggested I infiltrate the High Players' Lounge as a cocktail waitress? Why don't you make Chiba do it? Or Inoue? Or even C.C. You automatically assumed that I would be willing to go off and parade myself around for those lechers. I think I have a right to be offended.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1308 08/21/2018**

I never would have imagined that you might disobey Zero.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1312 08/21/2018**

According to my phone the sender is 'Lelouch.'

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1315 08/21/2018**

YOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1317 08/21/2018**

Caps don't automatically make things true.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1318 08/21/2018**

You are my Ace Pilot. You are the one I trust this important mission with. You're the most qualified for this assignment, and you're the one I know can carry it out. It's a compliment, really.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1320 08/21/2018**

Right, I'm flattered that you think my body is phenomenal and that I am a mindless puppet willing to do whatever you ask of me. Have CC degrade herself.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1323 08/21/2018**

CC will kill me in my sleep.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1324 08/21/2018**

And I won't?

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1328 08/21/2018**

You would do anything to protect me.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1330 08/21/2018**

According to CC, she has done everything I have.

-

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_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1332 08/21/2018**

You're not jealous of CC, are you?

-

-

Lelouch glanced forwards, at the head of red tresses sitting a few seats ahead of him. She stopped replying, it seemed, making a point of tucking her phone back into her pocket, and he scowled because she was being _unreasonable_ and _childish_. Picking up a pen, he tore a small piece of paper and scribbled across it in rather effeminate handwriting. Once done with the scrawled message, he crumpled it up into a ball and tossed it over to the red head.

Kallen blinked in surprise when something hit her hair and she turned to see a small paper ball drop to her shoulder, against her elbow, and down to the leg of her chair. She frowned at Lelouch who was leaning against his desk, head resting in his hand, as per usual, before picking up the paper. She made sure to un-wrinkle it discreetly.

-

-

Something hit Lelouch's arm and he found his note returned to him, laying on his desk. He flattened out the paper and saw only his own writing staring back at him.

_Is it because the cocktail uniform I acquired for you was a size too large?_

There was absolutely nothing else written on the page and he glanced questioningly at the back of Kallen's head before he noticed it.

Ah.

She had spit on the paper.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1530 08/21/2018**

Have you come to your senses yet?

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1800 08/21/2018**

Have you come out of the closet yet?

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1802 08/21/2018**

Oh. A homosexual joke. You, dear Kallen, are remarkably witty.

-

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_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1808 08/21/2018**

I try.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1810 08/21/2018**

So will you do it?

-

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_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 2000 08/21/2018**

No.

-

-

Kallen stepped into the main room of the Black Knights hideout, finding her Guren manual on the table and open to a page regarding upgrades and new installments. She picked it up, wondering who might have been interested enough in piloting her Guren Nishiki to bother even flipping through the manual, and then she realized the note scrawled in the margins.

_No matter how often Rakshata customizes the Guren, it will never be worthy of being piloted by someone of your uncontested proficiency._

With a sigh, she whipped out her cell phone.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 2100 08/21/2018**

You had better have used pencil.

-

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_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 0210 08/22/2018**

Kallen, I'm counting on you.

-

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_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 0211 08/22/2018**

GO TO SLEEP.

* * *

**ABSOLUTE** crack, I told you, didn't I? xD Reviews and Comments and othersuch Nonsense are very much appreciated.  
And of course, ideas of ways Lelouch might attempt to convince her to accept the mission are encouraged C:

**F L **_ii _**C K**


	2. The Second Attempt

**THANKS** to all reviewers and favorites and alerts C: you guys are amazing. I know I promised to get out a chapter for _Code Geass: Resurrection_, but I had to type something up for all of you eager to get more of this fic, so here it is. And I would love it endlessly if those of you who haven't checked out my other Kalulu to go migrate over to that fic as well 8D

**Anonymous: **Haha I think that's one of the best types of cute, no? xDD

**Fredryck: **Capslock is always funny! I'm glad you like it so far, and thanks so much for the review.

**Himig:** It will definitely be longer C:

**Saiko Matsui:** Oh, I'm glad you thought it was funny xD

**Unknown:** Was it really witty? Haha I sure as hell hoped it would be.

**DarkDesh:** Good laughs are this fic's aim ;D

**Shooter55:** In character, really? -accomplished- Lol, m'glad it was a bearable 5 minute read.

**Dragon Wraith Knight:** DIETHARD. I think I replied to you already, but I'm replying to everyone here, so…you get two replies! And besides, you gave me an awesome idea with Diethard -cough-

**Defining Aerith:** xDD You are awesomesauce and you should definitely write another Kalulu. NAO DD:

**Sakuramsm:** I can't tell you how many times I've tried to pronounce your name every time I read it, and always screw it up before realizing – _oh man! I've (failed to) read this before!_ xD oh god. Sultry!Lelouch ftw.

**annonemouse: **Haha, well I'd hate to have someone's sanity on my hands o o;;

**KALLENviBRiiTANiiA:** Yay for WittyBanter!Kalulu 8D

**Tetsukon:** Our Kallen is a feisty one ;D Lol I'm glad you like it so far, and I am trying my best to keep Lelouch at least somewhat in character C:

**Koko Roco:** I made someone Lol xD -yesss- to be honest, I also preferred LuluCC when I saw one episode, but then once I actually started watching the series, I fell in love with Kalulu -lovesit-

**Tee Fannie:** Tiffany? Lol, of all the times I've read that, it just hit me now. -epicfail- Anyways glad you like how I'm writing Kallen and Lelouch, I'll definitely be updating soon C:

**Val-Creative:** Funny Crack For The Win xDDDD

**CrimsonCheif:** DD: Every time I try to type out your name Word automatically corrects it, Lol. Ahah Kiss her. I totally squealed at that suggestion. I'm not ashamed to admit it DD: really.

**Yoruichi 'Ino' :** Hmm…Bleach meets Naruto? Coming back from that tangent – marvelous opening? Really? Why thank you! I'm glad you think so C; I'm continuing this, in fact, here's the next chapter right now ;DD

* * *

**The "No Talking" Rule**

* * *

_**THE SECOND ATTEMPT**_

* * *

**TRANSCRIPT OF DEBATE SUBJECT:** _Infiltration of High Players' Lounge_

Typed up by Official Conference Secretary – Reid, Diethard

- -

**Kallen (Looking over Typist's shoulder): **You don't have to include that, no one cares who's typing this out. Wait – why are you typing what I'm saying? Stop it! Stop it now!

**Diethard:** I like to be accurate.

**Kallen: **How are you typing and talking at the same time?

**Diethard:** It's a gift – why else would I be hired?

**Kallen: **No one hired you, you volunteered, now type up the summary.

_She stands behind the typist to presumably read over his shoulder._

In the case of the scandal at the High Players' Lounge concerning one, Derrick Guildern – commonly known as 'Ace' - who is said to be a gracious benefactor for the Britannian _Military Research and Development_ branch, supplying finances through illegal methods. The debate on this night of August the 22nd, year 2018, is being held in regards to the means of infiltration. The 'Ace' is known to have a weakness for women and a good game of chess – how convenient. No, Diethard, you weren't supposed to type that—stop it! Ugh! – We will be running through possible candidates to take on the mission. (It is, if I may say, inconsiderate and immature of _someone _to refuse the assignment—

**Kallen (Still peering over shoulder of Typist):** No you may not say.

This debate is nothing but a formality. Kozuki Kallen will be carrying out the mission.

**Kallen:** You can't say that! Who told you that?

**Diethard:** Zero.

_The Elevator doors part and our hero with a name that rhymes steps out into the Conference room, accompanied by his stunning Right-Hand-Woman—_

**Kallen (Seemingly annoyed): **You don't have to dictate absolutely everything. And I'm not annoyed!

—_Zero and C.C. approach the head of the room, standing on the raised platform, like a God on his pedestal. C.C. remains at his side, apparently disinterested with the topic at hand. Perhaps she knows as well as anyone else in the room that the meeting is only procedure—_

**Kallen (Livid):** This is a transcript not a novel! And I'm _not_ livid!

**Zero: **Kallen.

_She looks pointedly at our revered leader. She appears to be very angry with him._

**Zero: **Sit down.

_She does so beside the Typist, clearly to keep an eye on what he types up._

**Zero:** This meeting is being held in order to determine the details of the infiltration at the High Player's Lounge. It is suspected that the 'Ace' is conning money from the Japanese and using his winnings to finance the Britannian Military Research and Development division. We must gain access to the records of his dealings and perhaps even go so far as to get vocal confirmation. It is known that the 'Ace' is partial to women and gambling. I shall engage him in a game of chess, accordingly, and will be accompanied by a young woman capable of seduction.

**Tamaki: **So what's this meeting for?

**Chiba: **You idiot, he just said it!

**Tamaki: **Well what details do we need? He just read the entire mission!

**C.C. (glances up from a slice of pizza she seems to have pulled out of nowhere): **Except for who the female accomplice would be.

**Diethard: **Yes, seeing as Kallen refused—

**Kallen (rudely interrupting): **How can one refuse if one was never _asked?_

**Zero (seemingly amused): **Well then, Kozuki Kallen, will you accompany me to the High Players' Lounge?

**Kallen (glares, goodness she's angry): **I think you and I both know the answer to that.

**Zero: **So that's it then? Alright, I knew you would agree. Meeting adjourned.

_He leaves with C.C. in tow and the room disperses._

**Kallen (Stands up, chair falling backwards):** WHAT! I never agreed! Wait! Zero! ZERO—Diethard stop typing dammit, the meeting's _over!_

* * *

She ignored him at school the next day. Completely ignored him even as he sought her out at lunch, even as he purposefully remained beside her through the Student Council Meetings. It was irritating at best, but Lelouch refused to be trumped by a childish and perhaps slightly defective pawn. She was his Q-1, afterall. Prefect for the mission and utterly and frustratingly _unreasonable_. His odd behavior didn't go unnoticed, however, and it was his own persistence that had Milly questioning him about his uncharacteristic advancements towards "the wrong girl." What that meant, he couldn't waste the time to decipher, but soon the President was hauling him into the computer lab and sat him down in a chair.

"I know what's going on here, Lelouch," the woman declared, wagging a finger in his face. She gave him that smile of hers, the manipulative and cunning smile that could strike fear in any male specimen for simply _knowing _Milly and what her smile entailed. "You like Kallen, don't you? Not that I can blame you, she's a very pretty girl, and I love her, really I do. But Lelouch, you must be the stupidest man I've ever met if you hadn't noticed that there is another girl more willing to return your affections!" Lelouch barely had time to answer when Milly's arm wrapped about his neck, turning him to the computer screen. "But matters of the heart are not to be dealt with, and since you rarely ever show any interest in _any_one," and her one-armed embrace almost seemed to strangle (surely not), "I've decided to help you out where you surprisingly need help – wooing."

Before he could counter that he did _not_ need help with wooing a young lady, Milly had opened up his email account (how the hell did she figure out his password?) and set up Kallen's address in the recipient box. Lelouch looked pointedly at the President, "What exactly do you expect me to send her?"

Milly shoved the boy out of the chair and proceeded to let her fingers fly across the keys. "Looks like you'll need more help than I thought."

* * *

**ASHFORD MEDICAL WARD: Patient Log**

_Name:_ Prey, Olivia

_Injuries:_ Concussion

_Cause of Injury:_ Hit by a falling hard drive

**-**

_Name:_ Donato, Ryan

_Injuries:_ Dislocated shoulder, Fractured wrist

_Cause of Injury:_ Hit by a falling terminal

**-**

_Name: _Cardemonde, Rivalz

_Injuries: _None, but patient complained of pain in hand

_Cause of Injury: _Hit by a falling mouse pad

**-**

_Name: _Lamperouge, Lelouch

_Injuries: _Sprained ankle, black eye

_Cause of Injury:_ Stadtfeld, Kallen

* * *

**Message Sent:**_** 1400, 8/23/2018**_

ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS:

It is now prohibited to throw a computer, yours or otherwise, out any of the school windows at any time under any circumstances.

THE STUDENT COUNCIL

* * *

_**Sender: **_**KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1430, 8/23/2018**

Idiot.

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_**Sender: **_**LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1440, 8/23/2018**

I told you, I didn't send it.

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_**Sender: **_**KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1445, 8/23/2018**

That's why the return address was yours.

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_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent: **_**1457, 8/23/2018**

Milly typed it up and sent it, just ask her. She's proud of it.

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_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1502, 8/23/2018**

'_Kallen, your eyes are so blue and so large and your chest is even larger.'_

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_**Sender: **_**LELOUCH**

_**Sent: **_**1507, 8/23/2018**

I would never send anything like that.

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_**Sender: **_**KALLEN**

_**Sent: **_**1510, 8/23/2018**

'_I have admired you for so long now, but have been much too afraid to say a word for fear of rejection. You are a goddess amongst playthings.'_

-

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_**Sender: **_**LELOUCH**

_**Sent: **_**1512, 8/23/2018**

Kallen. You _know _me.

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_**Sender: **_**KALLEN**

_**Sent: **_**1517, 8/23/2018**

'_You know me better than anyone else.'_

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_**Sender: **_**LELOUCH**

_**Sent: **_**1520, 8/23/2018**

Kallen. Listen to me.

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_**Sender: **_**KALLEN**

_**Sent: **_**1525, 8/23/2018**

'_I know this is a coward's way of telling a woman how he feels. But please, just hear me out. My love for you knows no bounds, dear Kallen, and if you return my affections by any fraction, let me know. I, Lelouch Lamperouge, vow to win your heart.'_

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_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent: 1526, 8/23/2018**_

KALLEN.

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_**Sender: **_**KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1530, 8/23/2018**

Find another girl to accompany you on the mission and I won't forward the email to the entire student body.

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_**Sender: **_**LELOUCH**

_**Sent: **_**1526, 8/23/2018**

YOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE.

* * *

"You don't think it was in the least bit romantic?"

Kallen glanced over at the president who was busily stuffing envelopes with a curious floral fragrance. She frowned, sealing an envelope, before reaching to grab another. "No," she answered stiffly. A hand caught her wrist and she gasped at the surprisingly strong hold of the young blonde sitting before her. "Milly…?"

"Do you really not like him, or are you playing hard to get?"

The question baffled the pilot and Kallen sharply withdrew her hand. "Of course I don't like him!" She answered too quickly, massaging her wrist and eyeing the president carefully. "I mean, not like that." _Not at all, as of late_. "He's Lelouch," and the name left her lips with repulsion.

Milly arched a brow. "_The lady doth protest too much, methinks_. You should at least send him a Get Well card after the damage you've done. I'll even wave the money you owe the school for not only the computer, but the windows and the students you injured."

Kallen rolled her eyes. "Tell me who you just quoted and I will."

That smile of hers spread across her lips. "Queen Gertrude from _Hamlet_," she replied at once, holding out a pen, a blank card, and a florally fragranced envelope. "Now get writing."

* * *

**SO** what do you think, guys? Lol.  
I definitely had fun writing this chapter out ;D  
Credit for Diethard's appearance goes to _Dragon Wraith Knight_

Reviews and such much appreciated  
And will likely fuel quicker updates C:

Suggestions are also welcome!

**F L **_ii _**C K**


	3. The Third Attempt

**Koko Roco:** Well, Milly did hint that there was another girl Lelouch should take notice to (that girl being Shirley), but seeing as Lelouch never shows interest in anyone, she figures she might as well milk his 'interest' in Kallen for all it's worth xD Lol. She's conniving like that? But you can't help loving her – You can count on Milly to be a rather integral part of the impending Kalulu interaction. (And who doesn't love Kallen beating up Lelouch? xDDDD)

**Senorita Lucha 777:** Haha yes, a rather quaint and informative way of giving us all the wonderful image of Kallen thoroughly smacking down our Lulu, isn't it?

**Nayuki bunny-chan:** And I love that you loved the banter, characterization and humor! Infinitely so ;D Thank you so much for reviewing!

**Sakuramsm:** Wait no longer! An update is here! 8D It seems everyone adores Kallen beating up Lulu, but I can't blame you all, I mean, I included it in the chapter, I obviously adore it, as well.

**yuuko-san:** Haha! My, I'd hate to be responsible for such an incident, but in honor of the Stoner Movie sweeping America, _Pineapple Express_, I must answer with the customary, "I wish."

**icarus923: **Yes, poor Lelouch and other students…except perhaps Rivalz who was hit by a mouse pad? xD

**Anonymous (1):** Oh, oh!! My wit is vital to someone's life! Goodness, do I feel accomplished. No worries, I'll make sure to do my part in keeping you alive and well xDDD

**Tetsukon:** What better sympathy than sadistic sympathy? Lol!

**Tpolich:** AU? I think this is already quite AU xD And it's only bound to get even crazier if I continue, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I won't let the limits of canon restrict the series of unfortunate events and witty banter that will be following Lelouch and Kallen -grins-

**bloodhawk269:** I'm glad you liked it! I can't wait to see where this goes either, Lol ;DD

**Lita Maxwell: **Was it that obvious that the last chapter was such fun to write? 8D I know I stated that I had fun, but even so, Lol. I suppose it was blatantly obvious -amused- The list of injuries is rather popular, yes, I'll likely incorporate such things again xD

**catcat:** Well written crack FTW! xD M'glad you think it's well written, of course, it's a wonderful compliment, seeing as majority of this fic is simple messages and the occasional insult C;

**Kira:** You grinned the entire time? Are your cheeks sore? Oh no! But it's good to know that you liked it! Made of win? Really? Why, that's a marvelous compliment, thank you xD Let me return it by saying you reviewing is win in itself ;D As for Kalulu fluff…well…there might be some, there might not -shifty eyes-

**Anonymous (2):** Oh! I hadn't realized there were _two_ _**Anonymous**_-es running about! How will I tell the two of you apart? Mind if I attach numbers for the sake of clarity? I put the numbers in accordance with who reviewed this chapter first, so no worries, there is no favoritism. I adore all of my reviewers equally. Now…on to replying xD I'm very glad that my script-style was forgivable, and in-character for Diethard! It was my first time attempting to write him, so it's a relief to know that I pegged him well enough xD There will be many more _Transcriptions_ that need typing up, so you can count on him being present ;D And you are approximately the umpteenth reviewer who liked Kallen beating up Lelouch! Lol!

**Poison's Ivy:** Haha yes! Another Violent!Kallen fan! Welcome to the club xD Oh, you love my stories? Well I love you for loving my stories -nods- hm? Oh…don't worry about how Lelouch ropes Kallen into doing the mission. He will…he will…-cue ominous music-

**sliver of time: **Milly certainly had not planned on Kallen beating Lelouch up xD Nor did Milly foresee that Kallen would toss a computer out the window, but I'm sure she was only sadistically amused by the whole thing, Lol.

**1347039:** Mm…I'm sorry, I'm 120percent certain the quote is said by Queen Gertrude from Shakespeare's _Hamlet_ C:

**Advent Griever:** OMG a _slow clap!_ That is the very first slow clap I've ever received! This calls for celebration! -throws confetti-

**noian: **Definitely wonderful that you reviewed C;

**CrimsonCheif: **But I thoroughly dislike spelling people's names wrong DD: Lol, I'm glad you liked and thanks for reviewing!

**Himig:** Lelouch is such a fragile little doll xDDD And for the sake of Filipino pride: _Ninoy, hindi ikaw nag-iisa._ Pardon my horrible spelling and grammar, I'm not fluent in writing, or even speaking for that matter – simply understanding xD

**Dragon Wraith Knight:** Yes, Diethard is definitely "like a god" in his own right xD beautifully done, really? Why thank you! As for Milly's message…I haven't yet decided if she was being serious, or if she was purposefully trying to tweak Lelouch's nerves xD Maimings and bludgeons? Haha goodness, I'll see if I can work that in somehow xDDD

**Defining Aerith:** LOL! Yes, but Kallen is either in denial, or…in denial -cough- Yes, most girls (if not all girls, straight or otherwise) would kill for "He's Lelouch" xDD

**Yoruichi 'Ino' : **Bleach and Naruto, two wonderful anime and manga. I'm glad you think this is good, and that you liked Diethard's part xD I'll admit it took the longest for me to get that part down, trying to decide on the dialogue. Darned meetings, Lol.

**Tee Fannie:** Tee? Lol! I go by Di (pronounced Dee) We are letter-names 8D And coming back from that tangent – you're welcome! I always try to reply to all of my reviews C:

* * *

**The "No Talking" Rule**

* * *

_**THE THIRD ATTEMPT**_

* * *

She sat on the stool by his cot, avoiding looking at him and fiddling with her skirt. Milly was at Lelouch's side, gushing on and on about how he really needed to work on his romancing, assuming that Kallen couldn't hear – or perhaps hoping that the redhead _did_ overhear.

"Well you obviously messed up that chance," the Chairman chided, "But don't worry, I've found out that she likes you, too!"

The patient arched a brow at that, before letting his gaze travel over to the seemingly sickly student perched on the stool. Judging by the scowl on her face, he somehow doubted that there was a grain of truth in what Milly was saying – not that he needed visual confirmation, but it certainly didn't help to convince him the Chairman was right.

"She's just too shy to admit it, so give her some time, she'll come around soon enough, trust me."

That was followed by a bold wink, one that Kallen could hear just through her tone.

Milly spun around then and clapped her hands together, giving Kallen that _smile_ of hers. "Well!" She announced cheerfully, _conspicuously_, "I suppose I should be going, now! I'll just leave you two alone—"

Kallen scrambled to her feet then. "Don't be silly," she insisted of the blonde, "I should go as well, I promised…I promised Suzaku that I would…help…with bathing Arthur."

The Chairman pouted, "Oh right, I completely forgot." Then that _smile_ again. "Oh, well. I suppose you two lovebirds can make up some other time! But here, give him your card—" she snatched it from Kallen's death grip and pressed it into Lelouch's hand, giving the boy that sly grin. "Alright, let's go Kallen, I know you want to stay longer, but we simply can't spare the time."

* * *

My Darl**i**ng Love-Lig**h**t,

I'm infinitely sorry for the p**a**in I have caused you! Unders**t**and that it was nothing more than my own f**e**ar of a broken heart that prompted me to ever la**y** a vi**o**lent hand on yo**u**. Tru**s**t me when I say that I mean you absolutely n**o **har**m**. I hope yo**u** get well soon so that we might be able to re**c**oncile and start afres**h**. **I** only hope that you **will** can find it in your heart to forgive me – **k**now that I feel absolutely terr**i**b**l**e for what has happened, and for ignoring what my heart c**l**early desires.

**You**r Da**r**ling Q**u**ee**n**.

* * *

Lelouch's eyebrows rose as he read through her letter, wondering if perhaps it was another one of Milly's rather flowery messages – damn that girl for taking up the role of cupid. Clearly she needed a few lessons in archery. There was no doubt in his mind that the card had been from Milly, except that the writing was quite obviously _Kallen's_. Though it didn't _sound_ like Kallen. At least, not that he was aware – was she secretly a hopeless romantic? For some reason, Kallen and _hopeless romantic_ didn't sit well for him. She was much too brash, and much too violent – as punctuated by puffiness surrounding his left eye. At least he had a reason to squint through his Geass. It was then that he realized some letters were noticeably darker than the others, and Lelouch quickly put the sentences together.

_I hate you so much I will kill you run._

He grinned at the threat, piecing together her intention despite the lack of punctuation, and reached for his phone. It vibrated the moment he grabbed it.

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1201 08/24/2018**

I didn't write it.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1205 08/24/2018**

You should write for a card company.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1206 08/24/2018**

Milly made me do it.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1208 08/24/2018**

It was very heart-touching.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1210 08/24/2018**

I'm going to kill you.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1215 08/24/2018**

Do you think you can really bring yourself about to do that? You did mention that you mean me 'no harm.'

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1216 08/24/2018**

You're dead.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1219 08/24/2018**

It is I your heart desires, it seems.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1222 08/24/2018**

I'm going to bash you over the head with your own mask.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1222 08/24/2018**

How could you think that I would ever break your heart?

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1224 08/24/2018**

Then I'll stuff you full of pizza.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1224 08/24/2018**

We don't need to start afresh.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1227 08/24/2018**

And flatten you so much that you'll fit in the box.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1227 08/24/2018**

I can understand why you might be afraid.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1228 08/24/2018**

ARE YOU EVEN READING MY MESSAGES?!

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1228 08/24/2018**

But you have nothing to worry about, my Darling Queen.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1229 08/24/2018**

I'm going to kill you.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** LELOUCH**

_**Sent:**_** 1230 08/24/2018**

Because I forgive you.

* * *

If he thought speaking with Kallen was difficult before, it was downright _impossible_ once he was out of the hospital wing. She refused to look at him, to even be in the same _room_ as him for extended periods of time – and that was a difficult feat in and of itself, seeing as they had quite a few classes together, but she managed, taking frequent trips to get water, to go to the bathroom, to retrieve a book she must have left at home from her locker…anything.

He was limping about the school in search of her, when he ran into Rivalz who had a strategically placed band-aid on his hand.

"Lelouch!" The boy greeted, "What are you doing, walking around so much? You should be sitting down somewhere, having lunch!"

"I'm looking for Kallen," he answered dismissively before realizing that he _really_ should not have said that.

"So it's true!" Rivalz exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear, "The President was right! You and Kallen _are—_"

And to shut the boy up, Lelouch pushed his friend into the nearest open door. Rivalz heard it shut behind them and gave the prince a wavering look. Lelouch frowned. "I can explain—"

"This is a closet." Rivalz pointed out.

"Yes, thank you," he replied tersely, giving the boy a quelling look. "Now, Kallen and I—"

And the door opened.

A series of giggles emerged from the small cluster of girls, and Lelouch wondered if his day could get any worse.

* * *

_**Sender:**_** DARLING QUEEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1305 08/25/2018**

A closet?

-

-

_**Sender:**_** DON'T ANSWER**

_**Sent:**_** 1306 08/25/2018**

SHUTTUP.

* * *

_26 AUG. 2018_

**DAILY GAB  
**E d i t o r in Chief: Raquel Almund

_**LELOUCH AND RIVALZ?  
**__Proof that Lelouch likes men: _EXCLUSIVE PHOTO!

-

-

**LELOUCH CAUGHT IN CLOSET  
**By: Raquel Almund  
Photo: Olivia Kingston

_T H E mystery of why LELOUCH LAMPEROUGE has never had a girlfriend is solved at last. On 25 AUG at approx. 1240, Lelouch was found hiding in the utility closet on the second floor with MALE friend and Student Council member, RIVALZ CARDEMONDE . . ._

The Student Council gathered around their central table, Milly exuberantly passing out the newest edition of the school paper. Rivalz was horrified in finding that he and Lelouch had made the front page, and that their picture was entirely incriminating, though he constantly appealed to the Chairman that he was _not_ interested in Lelouch in that manner, and that he would much prefer to be in a closet with _her_.

Kallen was snickering in her seat beside a fretting Shirley.

"Lulu! Tell me this isn't true!" The girl cried out, waving the paper in the air.

Lelouch gave her a staggered look, "Of course not!"

"But there's a picture," Kallen replied with a twisted smile.

He frowned her way and immediately jumped to his defense. "It's not what it seems!"

She only shrugged, "A picture is worth a thousand words."

"In that case, you must be _heart broken_."

The pilot fixed him with a glare.

* * *

Kallen scowled at the post-it stuck to her locker:

_Are you avoiding me because I've broken your heart?_

_-_

_-_

**Yes, I think the situation warrants revenge. Let me break something of yours.**

_-_

_-_

_I am yours to do with what you wish, my Darling Queen._

_-_

_-_

**Then I shall break your head seeing as it is of no use!**

_-_

_-_

_And I shall forgive you, BELOVED._

* * *

_27 AUG. 2018_

**DAILY GAB  
**E d i t o r in Chief: Raquel Almund

_**LELOUCH AND KALLEN?  
**__Proof that Lelouch likes women: _LOVE LETTER INSIDE!

-

-

**CLOSET FULL OF LIES  
**By: Madeleine Guvard

_I T appears as though the rumors concerning LELOUCH LAMPEROUGE and RIVALZ CARDEMONDE were nothing but a cover story to hide LELOUCH'S true intentions towards one, KALLEN STADTFELD. In a letter he allegedly wrote addressed to KALLEN, he reveals that he is a fan of large blue eyes and even larger chests. RIVALZ states that "LELOUCH must have used the closet as a diversion from the truth! (…) I wasn't a part of the Closet Incident!" And KALLEN STADTFELD claims she "could not keep the secret any longer" and handed over the love letter . . ._

' Kallen, your eyes are so blue and so large and your chest is even larger.

I have admired you for so long now, but have been much too afraid to say a word for fear of rejection.

You are a goddess amongst playthings.

You know me better than anyone else.

I know this is a coward's way of telling a woman how he feels.

But please, just hear me out.

My love for you knows no bounds, dear Kallen, and if you return my affections by any fraction, let me know.

I, Lelouch Lamperouge, vow to win your heart. '

* * *

_**Sender:**_** EVIL INCARNATE**

_**Sent:**_** 0930 08/27/2018**

I promise I meant no harm. I was just doing what I thought was for the best for _us_. I'm sorry if I'm being selfish, but all is fair in love, is it not? Oh, please, I do hope you will forgive me, I don't think my heart could take it if you were angry. Do you still forgive me, Lelouch? Can you forgive your DARLING QUEEN?

_**-**_

_**-**_

_**Sender:**_** DON'T ANSWER**

**_Sent:_ 0935 08/27/2018**

BELOVED, I could never be angry with you.

* * *

**SHORTER** than the last chapter, but I had to end it where I did xD  
The _Daily Gab _is a daily paper, you could think of it as Tabloids, Gossip, Lol.

In case it wasn't clear, _DON'T ANSWER_ is Lelouch's contact name on Kallen's phone

And _DARLING QUEEN_ then the proceeding _EVIL INCARANTE_  
are Kallen's respective contact name changes on Lelouch's phone  
(He changed it from _Darling Queen_ after seeing the AUG 27 issue xD)

Of course, their last two messages are _entirely_ sarcastic...in case you didn't catch that -cough- Lol

Well, it's rather late over here, and I need to get up at 8am tomorrow  
So I'll be off without having scoured this piece for grammar errors.

Hope you enjoyed C: and you can count on more chaos in the next Attempt!

**F L **_ii_ **C K**


	4. The Fourth Attempt

_**Hits: **_4000+ ,_** Alerts: **_31,_** Faves: **_29_,** Reviews:**_ 74, Approximately 25/chapter

_Thanks so much to everyone who's been reviewing.  
I definitely appreciate all of the feedback I'm being given.  
It's always nice to hear what the readers think_

_Know that I will be taking suggestions,  
So if you guys have a scenario in mind, feel free to let me know  
And I'll consider working them into future Attempts C:_

_The opening for this chapter ran away with me.  
It is a narrative and not in any particular written-message style, apologies._

* * *

**Bayushi:** xDD Well I'm glad you like this despite it's lack of seriousness! I can't promise that I won't abandon it, I've a reputation for suddenly disappearing, which is actually very, very horrible, _but_ I can say that I tend to continue fics that are humorous and sort of crackish. They don't last very long, this one might only be Ten Chapters, maybe Fifteen if I stretch it, so I can't see myself stopping this one C:

**Fredryck: **I think the site is eating your reviews! DD:

**Tpolich:** The playful banter back and forth is incredibly fun to write, so you can bet there will be more of that coming soon, very soon, hopefully, and likely in ever chapter ;D

**CrimsonCheif:** Texts. A basic form of communication xD Lelouch and Kallen aren't about to stop sending texts, so you can count on more funny parts!

**kurowoof:** Laughter! Yay! That is definitely the purpose of this fic, to make people laugh, and I'm glad it was successful for you! xD Lelouch can be a smug little -swear word- when he wants to be xD Lol

**The Disruptive One:** Oh, I'm glad you think so C: there have been quite a few other fics based around internets – emails, blogs, et cetera, so this idea isn't entirely new to me, utilizing messages and paper-sources to tell a story, but I'm not sure if it's ever been used in the Code Geass fandom. No, Gino doesn't really have a place in this fic – but I do love him (shamelessly). With a tsundere, entertainment is always promised xD As for Kallen gaining confidence that Lelouch likes her…well…Lelouch _doesn't_ like her, xDD Not like that, at least not yet. Or he hasn't realized that he does. There really isn't any hint of romance between them, it's all hate for now. And I emphasize that, _for now_ -cough-

**Poison's Ivy:** xD I was thinking of leaving out Lelouch's translation of the message for you all to figure it out yourselves, but realized that some people might be too lazy to bother, so threw it in. I'm glad you decided to do it yourself, lol, I think it's funnier that way ;D Sarcasm and personal assaults (contact name changes) galore!

**Nayuki bunny-chan:** L O L. That's definitely good to hear! I try to make each chapter humorous, whether they're all up to par or some are funnier than others, I really can't tell. It's not as funny for me, as the writer, I haven't laughed out loud at anything I've written, but I'm always grinning like an idiot as I type xDD so I can't tell if it's really that funny or not. It's good to know that it is! As for the "scrap-book style," I figure an all texts fic might get old, fast, and rather boring.

**Tee Fannie:** xD Yes, I always reply. I love it when authors reply, too.

**icarus923: **Next chapter is a-comin' xD Lol.

**Defining Aerith:** LOL! Haha I'm glad you're LOLing, that's definitely my aim xD Darling Queen, yes, Kallen was much too horrified to put her actual _name_. Lelouch's flirting, even when totally insincere and more mocking than serious, is _still_ amazing, ne? xD

**Sakuramsm:** Haha god, what I'd give to see this fic animated.

**Yoruichi 'Ino' :** xD Lelouch being gay would devastate the entire female student body, it was a total tabloid moment. Applause?? -bows- _Thank you, thank you_, I'm so glad you like it.

**Senorita Lucha 777:** Oh? Lol, I've never heard of it xD

**iShallFade: ** Why thank you!! M'glad you think so, and thanks for the review!

**Thaiis:** Eeyp—_Breathe!!_ DD: Can't have anyone passing out from lack of oxygen! Haha, I'm a genius for coming up with insane scenarios and making both Lelouch and Kallen's lives (and Rivalz's, to an extent) hell? xDDD My, I do love the new definition of 'genius.' And Sarcasm is always funny xD

**Koko Roco:** Ahaha, chronic LOL syndrome, is it? _Excellent_. -evil laughter- Shirley is a pretty large part of Code Geass, and since she's not dead yet, she'd have to make her appearance in the Student Council xD I'm not a big fan of her, but she is adorable, and will be fun to incorporate, so you can count on seeing more of her ;D

**Himig:** I know xDD

**Lunatic Chaos:** -ahem- "_OMG you reviewed!_"

**Class . A . Rebel:** Hah music, free time, and a lot of sugar xD Thanks so much for reviewing every chapter in one go, I appreciate the support and encouragement and feedback on every Attempt C:

**Tetsukon:** Hidden Messages, it just screamed _Kallen_ to me xD And as for Milly, I'm not really sure, but we all know she can be rather eccentric, Lol.

**Dragon Wraith Knight:** I'll probably make an awkward scene with Lelouch and _everyone!_ xDD C.C. will definitely be in this, Todoh…perhaps. I'm actually already planning for Tamaki. But not too sure if XingKe will make an appearance, I need to see where this fic goes, because in all honesty, I just wing every chapter xDDD I have absolutely _no_ direction for this, Lol!

**Pop-Rocks-and-Soda:** I'm someone's _hero_? Haha that's pretty insane xDD Thank you for reviewing each chapter, I appreciate the effort and the feedback, and I'm so glad you like this so far! xDD

**. . .** **:** Thank you! C:

* * *

**The "No Talking" Rule**

* * *

_**THE FOURTH ATTEMPT**_

* * *

"I'm going to kill her!"

"No you won't."

"Oh, yes I will!"

"You would let personal issues interfere with your work as Zero?"

Lelouch gave his accomplice a withering glare, one that she met with her undeterred amber gaze. After a moment of scowling, he decided glaring at C.C. would accomplish absolutely nothing, and perhaps annoy him even more because of it, and so dropped his frown. She was right, of course. He had no intentions of killing Kallen, she was his Q-1, afterall. Despite how bloody irritating she could be, there was no one else who could even hope to pilot her Guren. The student raked a hand through his hair, dropping down onto an empty couch in his quarters. "Sometimes I wish she never found out who I was," he grumbled. Though Kallen knowing that Lelouch and Zero were one in the same made things much easier, there were times when he regretted the revelation of his identity. Her being so angry with him (and him with her!) made encounters as Zero and his Q-1 incredibly bothersome.

C.C. offered little to no sympathy, clutching her Cheese-kun. "You are worked up over a girl," she stated with a rather obvious sardonic undertone. Zero's glare returned and the green-haired witch only offered something that could pass as a smirk. "You _are_," she persisted, answering his silent denial.

"It's not the _girl_," he replied at once, "Rather the _situation_."

C.C. arched a single brow, brushing her cheek against the top of her Cheese-kun's head. "And what _is_ the situation, exactly?"

"The entire school thinks I'm in love with her."

"So?"

"So? What do you mean _so_?" Lelouch snapped, giving his accomplice a most incredulous look.

"_So,_" C.C. drawled, "what does it matter that the whole school assumes you are in love with her? Does that not solve your problem with all of the girls there? They seem like such a nuisance. I'd think you'd be glad for this."

"Glad that the entire student body thinks I am hopelessly in love with Kallen," he deadpanned.

The witch let a cynical grin pull at her lips. "I don't see what's wrong with that. You two spend an awful lot of time together on campus, don't you? To discuss things? It would answer rising questions that people might think of, seeing the two of you alone so often."

Lelouch was much too prideful to let what C.C. said sink in. Nevermind that her reasoning made perfect _sense_. His pride as Lelouch Lamperouge was on the line! The letter made him sound like a love-struck fool!

"Besides," she went on, ignoring his dubious expression, "Since when do you care what the school thinks?"

That, he didn't have an answer for. He'd never _cared_ about the student body's opinion of him. He never even spared it a second thought. But something about what Kallen did was so grating…perhaps it was her direct insubordination, or else the fact that she probably though she _won_. "This is a matter of pride. I am Kallen's superior, she should not disrespect me so," he answered stiffly.

C.C. shrugged, setting down her stuffed friend, and stood from the sofa, stretching her arms up in the process. "If you ask me," she said lazily, mockingly (and decidedly ignored, or else didn't hear, Lelouch's muttered _No one asked you_) "you're overreacting. And if you're bothered so much, stop complaining and _do_ something about it." And she sauntered on over to the door, covering a tired yawn with her hand. "Come on then, there's another meeting being held soon."

"Since when do you care about meetings?" He asked, mulling over her suggestion to _do something about it_.

The woman raised a brow. "I don't. But Tamaki says there will be pizza." And she opened the door. "Kallen." A grin, knowing and teasing, "We were just discussing you."

Kallen's eyes narrowed. "_Discussing_?"

"Aa," C.C. replied with a nonchalant wave of her hand, before walking on through the door and down the stairs.

Lelouch glared ruefully at his Knight. "_What_?"

She frowned. "I hope you realize just why I did what I did," Kallen said sternly. "It was to teach you a lesson that you should _not_ assume that I will degrade myself simply because I have done so before. I'm sorry I published your letter, but know that I refuse to accept the assignment, and the more you force it upon me, the more I'll—"

Zero was smirking. Smirking so wonderfully that she had to stop mid-sentence.

"—What's so funny?"

He stood then, graceful and god-like in his manner. "Kallen, do you not see the true reason I've been hoping that you would accept this assignment?" Lelouch waltzed on towards the door, towards her, his mask tucked beneath his arm. "You just looked so wonderful in your costume," he confessed with a sigh. "I can't imagine that someone else could do such a uniform justice." They stood face to face, and he looked down into her stubborn eyes, her furrowed brows, and continued to smirk. "It's a shame that I cannot convince you to take it up again," and his fingers were at her chin, tilting her face up to look directly into his gaze, and he was still _smirking_, all haughty and arrogant. "Oh, well."

And he walked on by without so much as a second glance.

Kallen told herself over and over that the redness tingeing her cheeks was due to anger.

* * *

**TRANSCRIPT OF DEBATE SUBJECT:** _Infiltration of High Players' Lounge_

DAY: _**27 AUGUST, 2018  
**_HOUR: **2135 **

Typed up by Official Conference Secretary – Reid, Diethard

- -

_Everyone files into the Meeting Room. Pizza is sitting on the table, one box opened and mostly empty, one box missing a slice, and two boxes untouched. C.C. arrives._

**C.C. (looks at the boxes):** Who ate a slice of my pizza?

_Tamaki visibly disappears behind Todoh._

_The elevator doors part and Zero walks out with a red-faced Kallen. She quickly walks away from him and sits beside the typist._

**Zero:** Operation: _Infiltration of High Player's Lounge_ will commence in five days' time. All of the details are set and everything seems to be going just as planned—

**-- Kallen (hisses):** Not _all_ the (_She hits the typist over the head)_ Stop typing what I'm saying!

**Diethard:** Then stop sitting beside me while I type. --

**Zero:** Derrick Guildern has openly accepted the challenge I, under the alias of _Grant Rosswald,_ have posed.

**Todoh:** That is all well and good, Zero, but this meeting is to discuss a different topic—

**C.C. (suspiciously eyeing Tamaki who is busily wiping what looks to be pizza sauce from his lips):** But is our discussion of the Infiltration finished? As I understand it, we are still missing the female who will accompany _Grant_.

**Zero:** We have decided.

**Kallen:** We have _not!_

**Zero:** Kallen, this outburst surprises me. After your confession of love, I would have thought that you would happily accept the assignment.

-- **five minutes** --

_Pardon the cease typing. This humble typist, as well as the entire room, fell out of his chair in utter shock._

**Kallen (red-faced):** I never confessed my love!

**Zero: **I'm sorry, perhaps I was mistaken.

**Kallen (glaring, now): **Perhaps you _were_.

_The typist is not the only one who is alarmed by Kallen's disrespect._

**Kallen: **I am not being disrespectful!

_Yes, she is._

**Zero (fumbling with something inside his cloak and muttering): **Mistaken…? I?

**Kallen (stands abruptly, hands slamming down on the table): **Z-Zero, what are you doing?

**Zero:** Oh, just looking for the evidence—ah, here it is.

**Kallen: **Evidence? What evi—

**Zero (holds up floral scented envelope):** Your letter, of course.

**Tamaki: **HA! Kallen, are you sending Zero-sama love notes?

**Chiba: **I really don't think this is an appropriate topic of discussion!

**Diethard:** Perhaps not, but it makes for riveting drama. Zero-sama, please, read the—

_The typist is hit over the head once more._

**Kallen (fist raised after bashing the humble typist):** NO!

**Tamaki:** Oh man, that letter must be juicy!

**Inoue:** It's sealed with a kiss, I can see it!

**Ougi:** Kallen, I realized you were devoted to Zero, but…

**Todoh:** This is entirely unprofessional conduct! We are here to discuss significant matters concerning a very important mission that is to commence in five days' time! Whether or not Kallen is madly in love with our Leader and sending him suggestive messages is none of our business.

**Kallen (seemingly incapacitated):** . . .**  
**

**Tamaki (waves a hand):** Ignore him—read it, Zero-sama!!

**Kallen: **I accept the assignment.

**Zero (tucking the envelope away):** I thought you would.

* * *

_**Sender:**_** DON'T ANSWER**

_**Sent:**_** 2145 08/27/2018**

I do hope you'll forgive that little stunt I pulled.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** DON'T ANSWER**

_**Sent:**_** 2150 08/27/2018**

It was to teach you a lesson.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** DON'T ANSWER**

_**Sent:**_** 2153 08/27/2018**

And besides, we both know no one else has the assets to complete the costume.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** PWNED**

_**Sent:**_** 2200 08/27/2018**

Oh. Sorry for not replying, I was talking to Milly, apparently we're low on funds for the Student Council.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** DON'T ANSWER**

_**Sent:**_** 2206 08/27/2018**

Oh?

-

-

_**Sender:**_** PWNED**

_**Sent:**_** 2208 08/27/2018**

Yeah, but it's OK. I've got an idea to raise money.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** DON'T ANSWER**

_**Sent:**_** 2214 08/27/2018**

What is it?

* * *

**Message Sent:**_** 0800, 8/28/2018**_

ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS:

Lelouch Lamperouge will be accepting kisses the entire school day for a small fee of three dollars per kiss.

Rules:

(1) Pay all expenses at the Student Council Office where you will receive a wristband with the number of purchased kisses.  
(2) You may kiss him on sight.

THE STUDENT COUNCIL

-

**Message Sent:**_** 0803, 8/28/2018**_

What about the rumors with Lelouch and Kallen?

-Anonymous

-

**Message Sent:**_** 0808, 8/28/2018**_

ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS:

There _is_ no 'Lelouch and Kallen.' Kallen is in no way, shape, or form, interested in Lelouch. Kallen would like to point out that Lelouch actually isn't all that great, and that his only use is for fund-raisers such as this.

THE STUDENT COUNCIL

-

**Message Sent:**_** 0910, 8/28/2018**_

ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS:

Due to recent events, a new rule must be added:

(3) Kisses _must_ be on the _face only_.

THE STUDENT COUNCIL

* * *

_**Sender:**_** SMOOCHES**

_**Sent:**_** 1100 08/27/2018**

I hate you.

* * *

"Lulu?"

He cringed at the female voice simply because it _was_ female, and the entire day he'd been hiding from anyone with breasts and a pair of lips. Lelouch fumbled with his phone, tucking it immediately into his pocket, and looked up to see a familiar-looking girl with long chestnut hair. "Hmm, Shirley?"

"This…this whole accepting kisses fund raiser, was it your idea?" She wasn't looking at him, quite focused on her shoes. "Not that I think it's a bad idea, actually, it's a great idea, we're raising so much money already and—"

"Shirley," Lelouch cut in, looking at her steadily. "I would never suggest such a ridiculous method. This isn't fund-raising, it's exploitation."

The student looked surprised, meeting his eyes with a widened gaze. She ignored the series of lipstick prints staining his cheeks, his forehead, his chin, his nose, between his eyes, and his mouth's invariably mixed shades of red. "Oh, yeah, I didn't think you would go along with this."

"Shirley, I'm not _going along _with anything," he retorted, "I'm being attacked!"

She flushed a brilliant rouge, challenging Lelouch's own red-marked face, and looked down once more. "Right, of course you wouldn't. But it's a game, isn't it, Lulu?" Shirley offered him a tentative smile, eyes brightening up with the thought, "The girls are supposed to find you, and then catch you."

Lelouch took notice of her wristband and gave the girl a guarded look. "I suppose it is. A game."

"And I thought you liked games."

"I do…" he responded warily. His phone vibrated then, and for the first time in a long time, he was glad Kallen replied.

-

_**Sender:**_** EVIL INCARNATE**

_**Sent:**_** 1110 08/27/2018**

DIVERSION!

-

Lelouch's eyebrows furrowed, "Wha—?"

And Shirley made her lunge.

* * *

**Message Sent:**_** 1500, 8/28/2018**_

ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS:

Congratulations, Ashford Students!  
We have received record-breaking funds of over 13,000 £!  
Thank you to all who participated in the fund-raiser today.

THE STUDENT COUNCIL

* * *

_**Missed Call:**_ **BEST FRIEND  
1503, 8/28/2018**

-

He was startled to see that he had missed a call, and even more alarmed by the caller. The Black Knight immediately snatched up the cell sitting on the desk and clicked redial, impatiently waiting for the other line to pick up. When it did, he jumped to his feet, "Zero-sama?"

"Tamaki, how curious are you about the contents of Kallen's letter?"

* * *

**ALRIGHT,** Lelouch is definitely going to exact his revenge.  
This fic is turning out to be prank after prank after prank xD  
And I must admit, I'm having serious fun with it.

Hope this chapter was enjoyed,  
It was a bit lengthier than the others  
But I suspect that's because of the opening narrative.

Anyways, reviews appreciated, along with suggestions, ideas, ConCrit.  
And to all my Phantom Readers, feel free to drop a comment  
I promise I won't bite -ninja-

See you all at the next Attempt C:

**F L **_ii_ **C K**


	5. The Fifth Attempt

_**Hits: **_6000+ , _**Alerts: **_51, _** Faves: **_44, _** Reviews:**_107

_So I just got a job, and that, along with Uni and a social life, will be eating up a lot of my time.  
Though I will still try to update every few days.  
If things get hectic, then it will shift to once a week,  
But I'll keep you all updated via my profile._

_Now, since a large portion of my hours have been filled,  
I don't really have the time to sit and think too much on plot or storyline  
Meaning my other Code Geass fic - _Code Geass: Resurrection -_ will have to be put on hold._

_Indefinitely. _

_And once it's on hold, there's not much chance for it to come back.  
I suppose this is my way of warning any _Resurrection_ readers that I'll most likely wind up abandoning it.  
_

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry DD:_

_I haven't been keeping up with the most recent episodes_

_I missed the previous two, actually  
And the drive to carry on the plot-heavy fic died on me_

_(You can expect a new story-plot and other-such things to come after I finish this fic, however)_

_Bur I _will_ definitely continue this, seeing as it's rather easy to come up with chapters._

_And on that note, I hope you all enjoy C:_

* * *

**Sakuramsm:** Why thank you! xD I love the pranks, too, they are vengeful, aren't they?

**Yoruichi 'Ino' :** Lol don't fall out of your chair now C: here's an update to keep you seated.

**Lunatic Chaos:** The meeting scene was the most fun to write ;D and thank you so much, I never realized that I was _funny_, to be honest xDD

**Poison's Ivy:** LOL. Your reviews are so amusing, but I already told you that, ne?

**Senorita Lucha 777:** Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! xD

**icarus923:** Pity Kallen? xDD Oh, I suppose there will be some room for pity… -cough-

**bloodhawk268: **Yay for Shirley being adorable! She used to be one of the characters I disliked, to be honest, but she grew on me C: and yes, you will see the mission ;D

**noian:** Oh! You read my A:TLA fics! xDD I love seeing people in new fandoms! Hello! Lol and I'm glad you like my stories C:

**Defining Aerith:** Haha, Kallen tops him in the end, yes, but Lelouch always somehow exacts his revenge DD:

**CrimsonCheif:** xD Just take deep, steady breaths

**ichigorukia4life:** A genius? I? xDD Lol, why thank you so much!

**g.t.a.k.a spice:** Kallen _is_ cold ;D

**catcat:** Haha it seemed like something Kallen might do to _Lelouch_ if she really was bitter. Or maybe it was the fangirl in me wanting Lelouch to suffer. xDD

**Advent Griever:** I love that you love my story C:

**shamaticgirl: **Lol I thought PWNED was rather fitting. Smooches, well…that was just the crack getting to me xD

**Koko Roco:** Mm, I watch it in Japanese C; and yes, Shirley kissed Lulu. I figured, I can usually get a good feel of how successful a chapter will be depending. I had much more fun writing chapter 3 than chapter 4, but I think my favorite chapter so far is 2. xDD And yes, _yes_! DIVERSION had me grinning as I wrote it, actually ;D Lol

**Bayushi:** Lol! You can pretend top mention is something, though I reply in order that I receive the reviews for the chapter xD You happened to be first last time ;D I'm glad you liked the opening dialogue, I thought it was much too long in narrative form. And depending on whether or not I decide to extend this, it will likely be 10 chapters C:

**wildstraydog:** Ohh, a _ball_ xD I could work that in somewhere, I think…you've just given me an idea xD

**Tee Fannie:** xD I just thought of what might spur the Ashford girls to give money! Lol

**Anonymous:** Pffthahaa, she totally is, but it's _Lelouch_ she's angry with. Not…_quite_ Zero (though Zero is the one making her do the stupid mission). Regardless, she'll likely make him sweat a little, Lol!

**Fredryck:** Ay, your reviews must be absolutely delectable DD: Haha the Closet? Glad you liked it ;D and PWNED as well, I thought it seemed rather fitting, lmao.

**brave kid:** Why thank you C: I'm quite obviously a huge Kalulu fan myself ;D

**Lord Esquire:** xDD Yay for consistency! I hope this update follows that trend as well.

**Dragon Wraith Knight: **I actually like Todoh ;D I think he will be the voice of reason where Tamaki will be spouting slander and such. I think…if Shirley spent an entire school day seeing other girls toppling over her Lulu, she might _just_ lunge at him herself xDD And yes, the girls are a bit eccentric when it comes to Lelouch, no? Milly never helps, either. Hmm, well that idea promises a bit of rated M scenarios, or else a strong T rating, I'm trying to keep this as generically K+ as possible, Lol. As for the 9/10, that's understandable, but I did say that this fic was rather directionless. There _is_ no actual plot, it's just crack xD pure, undiluted crack, Lol!

**Tetsukon:** Ahahahaha. Their child would be the manifest of all hell breaking loose xD

**Thaiis:** Lulu's always getting chased around, so I thought the fundraiser idea fit xD And I'm glad you liked Tamaki's caller ID for Lelouch! Lol

**Nayuki bunny-chan:** Lol yay for pulling out inner fangirls! I found that I actually love the meeting transcriptions. And the texts are always fun ;D

**Himig:** Tamaki _had_ to be a good part of this fic!

**Miss Itachi Uchiha:** I'm glad my fic has a purpose! Relief after classes xD I've just started Uni myself, but I absolutely love it ;D Lol

**Shadow Fox777:** Aw, thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and definitely glad that you think there is that Code Geass feel xD

**TrueLoveis4Ever:** Yay! You love it! Haha 1am? I'm sure your parents are knocked out enough not to hear your laughter, Lol.

**MJP:** Easy to read? That's wonderful ;D Glad it's not a mess of hopeless confusion where the events and people involved are concerned C:

* * *

**The "No Talking" Rule**

* * *

_**THE FIFTH ATTEMPT**_

* * *

_Journal of Kozuki Kallen_

_The 29__th__ of August, 2018. 0900 hours._

_Let's just get this straight. I don't write journals. Journals are for girls who have secret crushes or difficult lives. Girls who are depressed or else rant on and on about petty things. I'm not the type of girl who writes in journals. I don't have secret crushes or a difficult life. I'm not depressed and I do _not_ rant about petty things. I rant about very significant things! But I'm not ranting right now. I'm rambling. I don't ramble, either, but I guess this unnecessary journal of mine is bringing that side out of me. So, how am I supposed to start this, anyways?_

'_Dear Diary' . . . 'Dear Journal'_

_I don't get it. Personally, I see writing a letter to no one as an absolute waste of time. But my therapist says it might help me with my anger management. Nevermind that he disregards the fact that I don't have anger management issues. What self-respecting woman wouldn't get irritated when an entire organization believes she is infatuated with their faceless leader? I do not have anger management issues._

_This is how the conversation with my therapist went:_

_Him: How do you feel?_

_Me: _

_Him: -writes on a clipboard-_

_Me:_

_Him: _

_Me: What'd you write._

_Him: Nothing, nothing, just notes._

_Me: About me._

_Him: Tell me, do you have any suicidal tendencies?_

_Me: Can I see them?_

_Him: No, these are confi—Hey!_

_Me: 'Incapable of mature interaction and takes things too personally?!' … 'INSECURE?!'_

_Him: Still angry, I see. Normal, perfectly normal. So _do_ you have any suicidal tendencies?_

_Me: _No_._

_Him: Are you sure?_

_Me: _Y e s_._

_What I didn't tell him was that I was imagining bashing his own clipboard into his head. Repeatedly. But I think he might have been able to see that intent in my glare because he ended the session an hour early._

* * *

"Ah, Kallen, I've been waiting for you."

The pilot eyed Rakshata suspiciously, pausing at the landing of the staircase, before deciding that there was no danger in moving forward. "You have?" She inquired carelessly, making sure to keep her tone light.

The Head of the Research and Development Sect gave Kallen a warm smile, as warm a smile as she could manage with the pipe perched between her lips. "Mm," she answered just as nonchalantly, as if Tamaki's dramatic reading of _The Letter_ did _not_ happen a mere few hours ago. "I've brainstormed up a few customized applications that I'd like to run by you first, before updating your Guren. Do you mind?"

Kallen arched a single brow, skeptical, cynical, but mostly curious. Rakshata never bothered to share her ideas first, whatever tampering she did with the Guren Nishiki was always a surprise. "Oh, yeah, sure."

* * *

_Journal of Kozuki Kallen_

_The 29__th__ of August, 2018. 1200 hours._

_Everyone's gone mad! I swear, that stupid letter has gotten them all thinking I'm here only for Zero, that my sole purpose in life is to help him and marry him and bear his goddamn children! Tamaki, alright, fine – he's an idiot, I can't be too shocked that he read the letter aloud (and it came as a surprise to quite a few of us that he could read at all), but RAKSHATA?! I thought she was smart, I thought she, at least, was levelheaded. _

_But honestly._

_An '__Emergency __Aesthetic Deficiency Compartment?!'_

_Why the hell would I need to put on makeup and fix my hair in my GUREN?! _

_And then there's Chiba who's always giving me these funny looks. If she's mad at me because she thinks I like Zero, then there's nothing I can do. I've tried to tell her that she could take him! That I didn't _want_ him! That I'd much rather to date Tamaki! Or Tohdoh! But she only took offense to that. I don't understand her._

_And then there's C.C. who finds the whole thing just SO hilarious. No, she doesn't laugh, but when she looks at me, I can hear the laughter. No, I'm not going crazy._

_I hate him. Really, I hate him. Him. Zero. I hate him. Is it possible to hate someone so much?_

* * *

**Message sent at 1200 hours, Day 29, Month 8, Year 2018**

ATTENTION BLACK KNIGHTS:

There is a small beach just south of our most recent established base location that has the potential to be a perfect landing and launching site for our Knightmares. However, we need it cleared before we can begin to build. All who wish to be part of a special cleaning crew may sign up on the sheet outside supply.

THE HEAD COUNCIL

**-**

-

**Clean-up Sign-up Sheet  
**  
1. Charles di Britannia

2. Cornelia la Britannia

3. Arthur

-

-

**Message sent at 1230 hours, Day 29, Month 8, Year 2018  
**  
ATTENTION BLACK KNIGHTS:

The lack of the response to the cleaning sign up sheet is disgraceful. We cannot defeat Britannia if we qualm at the simple task of picking wood up off a beach. The clean-up date is officially set for the 31st of August. For those of you who cannot count or clean, that gives you beings two days to sign up. If there are no signatures on it by that time, we will be forced to start picking people.

We would like to commend Arthur for taking it upon himself to sign up.

THE HEAD COUNCIL

* * *

"I didn't know we even had an Arthur," Tohdoh commented off-handedly, releasing the intercom.

Zero gave him a pointed look, or as pointed a look could be through a mask, and muttered a quaint, "We don't."

* * *

**Message sent at 1300 hours, Day 29, Month 8, Year 2018  
**  
ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION,

Shinichirou Tamaki is speaking.

For all those who are interested, there is to be a beach party on Day 31 of Month…what month is it again, August? There will be music, dancing, and girls in bikinis. What more can you ask?

Your ticket in is your signature on the cleanup crew. Don't worry though; the beach will be cleaned long before the first partygoers arrive.

Tamaki, Shinichirou Tamaki

-

-

**Clean-up Sign-up Sheet,** _Page 5_

80. Hanashiro Randall

81.

82.

* * *

_**Sender:**_** NONFRIEND**

_**Sent:**_** 1300 08/29/2018**

Sign up!

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1305 08/29/2018**

No.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** NONFRIEND**

_**Sent:**_** 1306 08/29/2018**

A party's just what you need to relax.

-

-

_**Sender:**_** KALLEN**

_**Sent:**_** 1307 08/29/2018**

I don't need to relax!

-

-

_**Sender:**_** NONFRIEND**

_**Sent:**_** 1306 08/29/2018**

Are you sure about that?

* * *

**TRANSCRIPT OF DEBATE SUBJECT:** _Zero's Harem_

DAY: _**29 AUGUST, 2018  
**_HOUR: **1330**

Typed up by Official Conference Secretary – Reid, Diethard

* * *

**ERROR: TRANSCRIPT OF DEBATE SUBJECT **_ZERO'S HAREM_ **NOT FOUND.**

* * *

_**Tape Recording of Case Study 0001: **_Kozuki Kallen

_31__st__ of August, 2018. 1400 hours._

"Hello Kallen, you're looking lovely today. Don't you find it odd that the transcript from the meeting was mysteriously destroyed?"

"…"

"As talkative as ever, I see."

"…"

"You realize we have a good…hour and fifteen minutes. Would you like to sit in silence?"

"…"

"I see."

"What are you writing?"

"Notes. Just…just notes."

"Notes like before, those kinds of notes?"

"No, no, completely different notes—notes that are unrelated to you whatsoev—Hey, wait, wait—!"

"Mmhmm – 'Reluctant to talk. Shutting out help. Unable to see beyond juvenile tactics.' _Unrelated, huh?!_"

"Gyaarggh—That's not supposed to _bend_ that way!"

* * *

_**INVENTORY/RENOVATIONS REQUEST FORM**_

**Filed by: **_Official Black Knights Therapist_

**Renovation:**

**Items: **_Desk, Clipboard, Various Pens, Chair_

**Condition:** _Need to be Replaced_

**Comments: **

Request Status: **accepted** declined

**Signature:** _Zero_

-

-

**INFIRMARY: Patient Log**

_Name:_Diethard, Reid

_Injuries:_ Mild contusion, cracked ribs

_Cause:_ Patient claims to have fallen down the stairs and walked into a door

* * *

_**Sender:**_** NONFRIEND**

_**Sent:**_** 1425 08/29/2018**

Don't need to relax, huh?

-

-

**Clean-up Sign-up Sheet,** _Page 5_

80. Hanashiro Randall

81. Kozuki Kallen

82.

* * *

**_BASE CONSTRUCT:_ WATCH LOG**

_31__st__ of August, 2018. 2021 hours._

It is strangely quiet around the corridors tonight.

* * *

**THIS,** chapter was completely forced out.  
I think it's rather obvious that it wasn't inspired at all.  
I hope it was still a somewhat enjoyable read, regardless.

I've been incredibly busy, as I said earlier, and it's difficult to write out chapters  
I like to write in a block of time, from beginning to end  
If this chapter felt choppy, it was because that was what my free time allowed.

It will get better, I'll put more effort into future Attempts  
But this chapter did bring to light something I hadn't anticipated.  
There will be a plot. A plot _is_ forming. I've actually gotten part of it written for the next chapter C:

For the sake of my sanity, the mission will take place September 1.

NONFRIEND is Tamaki.

Yes, Kallen's Therapist is Diethard…just because ;D

Encouragement and such would be very, very appreciated.

Especially since right now, at this very moment (seriously, right now) my mother is being an absolute helpless nuisance and there are no words that can describe how utterly annoyed I am with her. I mean, I'm always annoyed with her, but right at this very instant, it is unbearable. I want to bash my head into the keyboard. I want to just ignore her constant complaints and I want to tell her that she needs to stop asking others to do the crap that she needs to do and goddamn it if she can't do everything then she needs to stop wasting her time doing _nothing_.

…

-/rant-

Sorry about that. Lol.

Long Author's note. I guess I should let you guys go now xD

Until the next Attempt!

**F L **_ii_ **C K**


	6. The Sixth Attempt

_**Hits: **_11300+_** Alerts: **_85_** Faves: **_76_** Reviews:**_151

* * *

**OK** You guys! Here it is at last! The long awaited Sixth Attempt! xD I think I replied to all the reviews, except the anonymous ones (apologies) I had been informed that replying to reviews in the fic was against the ToS. Anyhow, I'm sure most of you received replies that said I'd be getting this up this week. Well, it's up much sooner than I planned, Lol. I don't think it's still as good as the first few chapters, but hopefully it's alright, and I certainly had some amount of fun with it C: Enjoy!

* * *

**The "No Talking" Rule**

* * *

_**THE SIXTH ATTEMPT**_

* * *

_Journal of Kozuki Kallen_

_The 31__st __ of August, 2018. 0700 hours._

_Tamaki was right. The party was definitely what I needed to relax. It was fun, even the cleaning up part (if only because Diethard got swept away with the tide). But I think the best part of the evening was when Zero wasn't allowed to go to the Beach Party. It was…the highlight of my night. I was cracking up so much. You see, the conversation went something like this:_

Tohdoh: _Hey now, wait a second there, Zero. You can't come._

Zero: _(Affronted! Ha!) What? Why not?_

Tohdoh: _(Totally serious) Your name isn't on the sign-up sheet._

Zero: _Are you kidding me? (His face—well, alright, what I imagined his face would look like—was PRICELESS!)_

Tohdoh: _. . . (Still completely serious)_

Zero:_ (All smug and whatnot) Do you realize who you are talking to? _

Tohdoh: _. . . (I had never loved his serious face more)_

Zero: _(Spots C.C. walking by with a box of pizza) C.C.!_

C.C.: _(Pauses and looks at Tohdoh) Hmm?_

Tohdoh: _His name isn't on the Clean Up._

C.C.: _(Blinks) Well that's just ridiculous._

Zero: _Thank you--!_

C.C.: _Why are you even trying to attend the party, Zero?_

Zero: _-Insert Swear Words Here-_

_In short, it was just a very amusing night. And that's all that happened. Nothing involving Zero and I took place. The night ended. Period. _

* * *

"Kallen, you are in no condition to get up!"

The pilot gave her nurse a withering glare, trying to hide the excruciating throbbing in her head. "I'm fine," she insisted roughly, brushing a hand through her mess of tangles; the infirmary pillows always made her hair stand on end.

The nurse replied with a stern look. "Zero-sama gave me direct orders to keep you in bed," she said firmly. "He told me to use any means necessary."

A statement that caused the others in the medical ward to chuckle in their pretend-sleep.

* * *

**ZERO MEMORANDUM**

_The 31s__t__ of August, 2018_

Notes to Self:

(1) Enforce rule in which any and all who disobey Zero will be punished.

(2) Punish Tohdoh.

(3) Geass the Knights into forgetting what happened.

(4) If Kallen was not inebriated enough to completely forget what happened, bribe her.

* * *

**Message sent at 1001 hours, Day 31, Month 8, Year 2018**

TAMAKI!

Great party, man!

- Randall

* * *

**Message sent at 1001 hours, Day 31, Month 8, Year 2018**

I can barely remember half of it, it was that intense.

- Anonymous

* * *

**Message sent at 1002 hours, Day 31, Month 8, Year 2018**

Has anyone seen my jacket?

- Asahino

* * *

**Message sent at 1008 hours, Day 31, Month 8, Year 2018**

ATTENTION BLACK KNIGHTS:

The clean-up was a huge success, except for one problem. Thanks to the ingenius party idea, the beach is, once again, a mess. _Another_ Clean-Up sheet will be posted outside Utility. Sign up or Die.

THE HEAD COUNCIL

-

-

"Don't you think _Sign up or Die_ is a bit extreme, Zero-sama?" Tohdoh inquired of his masked liege.

**-**

-

**Message sent at 1010 hours, Day 31, Month 8, Year 2018**

ATTENTION BLACK KNIGHTS:

Correction – Only Kyoshiro Tohdoh will be responsible for the clean up. That is all.

THE HEAD COUNCIL

* * *

**New Message (1)**

**From: NONFRIEND**

**View **Ignore

-

-

_**Sender:**_** NONFRIEND**

_**Sent:**_** 1100 08/31/2018**

Have fun last night, Kallen?

-

-

**AD****DRESS BOOK**

**-**

-

NOLAN

**NONFRIEND**

NUNALLY

-

-

Delete all contacts?

**Delete selected contacts?**

-

-

_NONFRIEND_** deleted **_from contacts list._

**-**

-

_**Missed Call:**_** SMOOCHES  
1205, 8/31/2018**

Kallen frowned as she settled back into her cot, trying to ignore the round of whispers going on around her. She would yell at the blurry faces if her head would just stop its goddamn spinning. She would have to make sure not to drink as much as she did – not that she had meant to get so smashed, of course. Who would have figured that Tamaki would provide—? Oh, who was she kidding, she should have known! Even so, that didn't keep her from putting all the blame on Tamaki. Perhaps no one remembered—?

Yeah right!

She was the laughingstock of the base!

Grudgingly, the pilot snatched her phone from the nightstand and stood from her bed.

"You sure you can walk without Zero helping you?" Came a snide remark from…somewhere. Kallen swirled around at the voice, unable to place it to a face, but scowled in the general direction to her left before staunchly marching out of the infirmary.

It would have been much more dramatic had she not walked straight into one of the three doorways that swam in her vision.

* * *

**Kallen!**

_What!_

**I'm surprised you called—**

_I'm only returning yours._

—**Right, of course. … How are you feeling?**

_What do you want, Zero?_

**I had called earlier to…check up on you.**

…

**You took a nasty fall the other night.**

_Oh really? Before or after we—_

**So you remember.**

…

**Well then, I'm willing to offer you a proposition for your…cooperation.**

_Cooperation._

**Yes. You will be exempt from the mission tomorrow if you pretend to simply forget.**

_Forget._

**I will Geass the Black Knights to erase their memory.**

_Frivolous with your gift, aren't you?_

**Do you enjoy their snickering, Q-1?**

_You are in no position to be calling the shots. I'm the only one other than you who knows just what happened in that boathouse._

**You wouldn't dare speak a word of it.**

_Wouldn't I? You've already managed to destroy my reputation here. Everyone already believes I'm in love with you._

**You're bluffing.**

_Am I?_

**Listen to me Kallen—**

(Dial Tone)

* * *

"Dammit!" Zero exclaimed with a swing of his arm. His phone flew through the air, landing along the hardwood floor right at C.C.'s feet. He gave the witch a glower as she stepped over the cell phone, closing the door to his quarters behind her. A box of pizza was in her hand, and she moved easily over to the table. "Where've you been?"

She blinked at her accomplice before settling down on the floor and prying open the box. "Doing all of your chores because you've been in bed so late. How are you feeling?"

He did not appreciate the smugness in her tone. "_Fine_," he snapped, stalking over towards the door to grab his discarded (and broken) phone.

"You don't _sound_ fine," C.C. teased, picking up a hot slice of pizza.

Zero glared at her, the effect weakened by his visor. "Shouldn't you be off doing something productive?"

The witch only gave him a most pointed look. "I don't understand why you're so angry. It's your fault, you know. For being so irresponsible."

"I was not—!"

"Lelouch, it's not like you to be so defensive."

Zero fisted a hand around his phone. "Rumors are one thing. Situations to base those rumors off of are another!"

"Since when do you get so worked up over simple rumors?" C.C. countered with a most catty smile.

The prince glared in contempt, understanding her words for what they meant:

That the rumors were more than just _rumors_.

"Hm," the prince scoffed before marching on out of the room, the door not closing behind him fast enough to block C.C.'s lazy aside,

"She's with her Guren."

* * *

**ZERO MEMORANDUM**

_The 31__st__ of August, 2018_

Notes to Self:

(1) Enforce rule in which any and all who disobey Zero will be punished.

(2) Punish Tohdoh.

(3) Geass the Knights into forgetting what happened.

(4) If Kallen was not inebriated enough to completely forget what happened, bribe her.

(5) Threaten Kallen to forget.

(6) Prohibit C.C. from buying/eating Pizza.

(7) Buy new phone.

* * *

Kallen frowned as she stumbled, ramming her shoulder into a pillar. The room spun with the motion, and she doubled over, catching a hand over her mouth. Clearly she could not hold her liquor, and why she had been drinking in the first place was beyond her. It had been fun, she recalled; she was laughing the other night, laughing at absolutely everything, even things that were not funny in the least bit. But she had a good time, and it was likely because she was inebriated. Parts of the evening were nothing more than black spots in her memory, except for that one vivid moment – the only time during the party that she wished she could forget.

"Here you are."

The pilot rolled her eyes, knowing instantly who it was. She didn't bother turning, or even glancing over her shoulder to make certain – only one person had that voice. The deep resonating timbre that demanded both fear and admiration. Kallen picked herself up, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. "Don't you have important things to attend to?"

His mask was over his face, but she swore she could see his violet eyes shine through the blackness. "And here I am, attending to the top priority."

Kallen didn't bother hiding her glower. "You never cared what anyone thought about you," she said.

Lelouch only shook his head and removed his visor with a skilled hand. "Kallen—"

"You really think it a good idea to reveal yourself in a place so public?"

He only gave her a pointed look, before nodding in agreement. "You're right. Let's continue this in my quarters, shall we?" And he turned on his heel, expecting her to follow.

She did.

* * *

**TRANSCRIPT OF DEBATE SUBJECT:** _Zero and Kallen_

DAY: _**31 AUGUST, 2018  
**_HOUR: **1220**

Typed up by Unofficial Conference Secretary – Shinichirou Tamaki  
(Because Diethard is still injured, and this is a meeting called together _without _Zero's knowledge. He is believed to be somewhere having a chat with Kallen, or so my sources say—

**C.C. (Reads over my shoulder):** You don't need to type all of that, idiot.

**Tamaki:** We'll all look back on this one day and laugh.

**Kaguya:** Or Zero-sama will find this and kill us all.

**Diethard (In a neck brace): **We need to record everything that takes place! Now stop dallying and let's get this meeting started before Zero-sama returns!

* * *

"Kallen, what happened last night was…"

"A mistake," the pilot finished haughtily, immediately taking a seat on the couch so as to keep the room from spinning out of control.

Lelouch, unmasked and beautiful as ever, arched a single brow. "No, I don't believe it was a mistake…"

"What?" She snapped, slightly flustered.

"You see, Kallen, I believe that alcohol brings out the truth in people," the prince continued off-handedly, setting down his mask on the table with relative ease. "It loosens the tongue and unscrews the bolts. It is a person's bare instincts, needs, wants, shining through. Do you understand?"

"…Yes?"

Zero nodded in a most business-like manner. "Good. So whatever happened—"

"We—"

"_Please refrain from mentioning it._ Thank you. The 'Incident' must be overlooked. Must be forgotten. _Never happened_. Do you understand?"

"I'm sorry you find the idea of it so revolting!" Kallen exclaimed, insulted.

Lelouch only chuckled. "Think about it. Such affections are signs of attachment. Attachments are signs of weakness. The heart is the most vulnerable place an enemy could dare attack. No one, not even dear comrades, can know about such a delicate…"

"Delicate what?" She pressed on, still scowling, still angry.

He sighed. "Flaw."

* * *

_Everyone settles into the make-shift conference room (i.e. – the kitchen), clearly all afraid of Zero-sama's wrath. I don't really understand why…if he's with Kallen, I'm sure they'll both be preocuped—_

**Diethard (Also reading over my shoulder): **You spelled p-r-e-o-c-c-u-p-i-e-d wrong.

**Tamaki: **Uh, thanks.

**Kaguya:** Order, please, everone, listen!

**Diethard: **And 'everyone.'

_Humble Typist is too lazy to edit._

**Kaguya: **It has come to all of our attention that there is something going on between Zero-sama and Kozuki Kallen. We were all shocked by the earlier revelation of the latter's love for the former, however, none of us could have foreseen that such affections were reciporocated!

**Diethard (Whispers): **You spelled—

**-- eight minutes --**

_New Typist, Nagisa Chiba, taking over. Tamaki bashed Diethard over the—oh, that's not important._

**Kaguya: **Has everyone settled down _now_? Good. As I was saying—

**Tamaki: **I say we have a bet!

**Randall: **What kind of bet?

**Tamaki: **A bet with Zero-sama and Kallen!

**Kaguya: **A bet?

**Tamaki: **You know, we'll all bet on what happens to them as a couple.

**C.C.:** We'd need to narrow down the choices.

**Diethard:** How about, we hold polls?

**Tamaki: **Yeah!

_Did Tamaki and Diethard just agree?_

**Diethard: **We can have people place their bets on what they think will most likely happen. Option one – Zero-sama and Kallen are between the sheets in a day.

**Tamaki: **Option two – Zero-sama and Kallen will kill each other in a day.

**Tohdoh-sama (?!):** Option three – Zero-sama and Kallen will be between the sheets in a week.

**Chiba: **Uh, they will kill each other in a week!

**C.C.: **What about months?

**Kaguya: **Show of hands – who thinks this will drag on for months?

_A few hands in the crowd raise up._

**Kaguya:** That's settled then, shall we place the bets?

_This is ridiculous, childish, juvenile, unprofessional—_

**Tohdoh-sama:** Here's to hoping they kill each other in a day!

**Chiba:** I'm betting my money on kill each other in a day!

**Zero:** What's going on here?

_Oh shi—_

**Kallen: **Chiba, what're you typing up over there?

**Chiba:** Typing? What? Nothing, nothing at all—

**Diethard:** CHIBA, NO!

* * *

_**INVENTORY/RENOVATIONS REQUEST FORM**_

**Filed by: **_Official Black Knights Typist_

**Renovation:**

**Items: **_Keyboard_

**Condition:** _Need to be Replaced_

**Comments: **

Request Status: accepted **declined**

**Signature:** _Zero_

-

-

**INFIRMARY: Patient Log**

_Name:_ Nagisa, Chiba

_Injuries:_ Mild contusion

_Cause:_ Keyboard

* * *

**Message sent at 1410 hours, Day 31, Month 8, Year 2018**

ATTENTION BLACK KNIGHTS:

It is now prohibited to hold meetings without Zero's consent.

THE HEAD COUNCIL

* * *

**ZERO MEMORANDUM**

_The 31__st__ of August, 2018_

Notes to Self:

(1) Enforce rule in which any and all who disobey Zero will be punished.

(2) Punish Tohdoh.

(3) Geass the Knights into forgetting what happened.

(4) If Kallen was not inebriated enough to completely forget what happened, bribe her.

(5) Threaten Kallen to forget.

(6) Prohibit C.C. from buying/eating Pizza.

(7) Buy new phone.

(8) Find Secret Conference Transcript

Honestly, I cannot fathom this apparent lack of respect for Zero. These people, these Black Knights, serve under me and do my bidding without question, but lately they have been showing signs of rebellion – ironic. I need to tighten the reigns. On another note, Kallen was very angry with me today. I can't imagine why. But we both decided never to mention that Incident ever again. And she still agreed to do the mission tomorrow. I suppose everything worked out according to plan. Except she broke a keyboard today. She's been breaking quite a few things lately. I could have ordered her to stop but…she was greatly enjoying herself.

(9) Grow backbone.

* * *

**AND** there you all go C:  
Not my best, but…getting there I hope?

The Incident _will_ be exposed in an upcoming chapter  
So no worries about all that, Lol.

Of course, I'm not sure which one yet, but just for kicks  
What do you all think the Incident could be? ;D

**F L **_ii _**C K**


End file.
